OK SO Post-Deadpool 2 rant about my love for Wade (Deadpool) and Vanessa which will ONLY reference Deadpool 1, and explain why to me they are the #1 Canonical Marvel* ship in that I actually believe they are in love and I am happy about their love and want them to be happy together because they seem like real people in a real relationship.

1) They actually enjoy one another’s company.

In over 19 films, including an extended universe of iffy rights situations, we have had a metric fuckton of heterosexual (and/or het-presenting) romances. Yet with only a few exceptions, most of the couples can’t seem to stand one another most of the time. Probably the next closest after Wade/Vanessa?? Would be Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, but even though they spent 99% of their time together at bootcamp or in wartime, they at least seemed to like each other and tried (though failed) to arrange going on a date, BUT  they don’t actually end up together because Steve takes a nosedive into the Arctic. 

The next runner up would be Tony/Pepper, again we’re only talking canonical, not the copious amounts of sexual tension between various other characters, and 90% of the time it seems like Pepper is begging Tony not to do the thing and the other 10% of the time she’s screaming because Tony Has Done the Thing. Like, look, I think their relationship is a runner up for #3 of most romantic in the slot but  that’s not saying much because if I were Pepper’s friend I’d be begging her to not go through with the wedding because I’m not sure her blood pressure can take it.

(I will add Quill/Gamora as #4 grudgingly because I remained unconvinced that Gamora even tolerated Peter much less liked him until Infinity War. As for the others… yeah in most cases, the less we speak of their complete lack of on-screen chemistry or sustained (ever to be mentioned again) romance the better (UGH SHARON AND STEVE UGH). Do Jean and Cyclops count? We’ve barely ever seen them affectionate but at least they were canonically dating and didn’t actively hate each other most of the time, not counting the whole Dark Phoenix murder thing.)

2) They have been on a date.

Marvel, honey, sweetie, baby, I am begging you. Let your romanced characters spend five seconds together that aren’t interrupted by explosions. Let us see these characters watching TV in their pajamas together like Wade and Vanessa did. Let me, for the love of god, believe they actually want to spend time together and make time for each other when not saving the world. Wade and Vanessa gave us the five most convincing minutes of romance I’ve seen in any superhero film. 

Was it even five minutes? I’m not sure they made it to the end of Calendar Girl but I was on board with these kinky, fun, joyfully trashy kids and their love for each other. I was totally on board with the fact that he’s falling even harder for her the minute he realizes he’s dying and I totally bought every second of her fighting like hell to save his life from cancer. I bought all of the rest of Deadpool 1 where he’s afraid of returning to her because he doesn’t want to lose her and he’s insecure about his appearance. I was angry at him, but it was clear the narrative and everyone in his life also thought he was being an insecure dumbass about it, and yet it was totally believable that he was an insecure dumbass, because we’d actually seen them falling in love and going on dates and being focused on one another for more than the 5 seconds it takes to set up the next action scene Marvel for the love of god I am begging you to follow suit it’s been three films since Tony and Pepper went to a fancy evening together I’m not sure they even remember what the other looks like anymore.

3) They are well matched.

Granted, we spend most of our time with Wade watching him dismember people BUT, before that we see Vanessa going toe to toe with him in 1) telling off sex creeps like Fat Gandalf and the stalker pizza guy, respectively 2) thinking the “big proposal” was going to be anal sex (with Vanessa requesting) and not an actual marriage (with Wade requesting) but the result was unequivocal joy for both of them for both proposals 3) having the same sense of dark humor about who has the more fucked-up life 4) being GGG super open and ok with each other’s wants and needs in the bedroom 5) making major sacrifices for each other like Wade not wanting to drag her into his fight with cancer and Vanessa putting her life on hold to help him find a cure. 

Again, I think Peggy and Steve were well matched, but they didn’t end up together. I think Pepper and Tony are decently matched, but they don’t share the same world and it’s clearly a burden on the relationship, and I say this as an adult observing and not as a shipper. Thor and Jane obviously didn’t happen. Who else is there? Bruce and Betty? Bruce and Nat? Both of those are practically non-canonical now. The above mentioned Quill/Gamora spent most of their time on screen with Gamora disdaining him. Ant-Man and Wasp will probably be love interests, but she spent most of their first film needing to babysit him on his personal journey while she was more qualified for everything he was doing. Did Dr. Strange even have a love interest and not just an ex he kissed unconvincingly in the heat of the moment??

My point is, Marvel is currently not great at this thing called romantic chemistry with their canonical relationships on the big screen. It’s probably why most of the fic out there is non-canonical ships. This isn’t about whether or not the character love each other, they’re fictional constructs, I argue more that while we see a lot of “I’d die for you” we don’t see a lot of “I’d sit on the couch with you and just enjoy your company on a lazy Sunday” outside of Wade and Vanessa and this is why I love them to death thank you for coming to my TED talk.